For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Randomize
