If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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