i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
