i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
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