got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
