he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
