So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
