I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
