I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
