yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
