what day is it and did you see me today?
he fucked my hip out of place.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
