So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
