Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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