I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
