we have pet lesbian snakes
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
