so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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