that's an acceptable place to lick
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize