I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
He is an equal opportunity slut.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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