Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
