erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Randomize
