Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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