doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize