so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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