so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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