when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
