Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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