She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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