even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Randomize
