so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
