Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize