Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
