You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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