its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
