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I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
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