She is in my trunk
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?