i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
