we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.