Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
