i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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