Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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