i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
