Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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