Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
