Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Randomize
