Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Randomize
