i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
