I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Randomize