if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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