she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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