jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
What a dumb baby whore.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
