he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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