Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize