Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
