Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
