Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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