you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
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