I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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