we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
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but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
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You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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