my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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