Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
