we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
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