I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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